Confession of a Innocent mind

This year, I footed the bill of Christmas party. That was great to meet all friends after such a long time. When the party was to start, Neil told me that Merv had called up when he was coming home after mid night mass. When Neil said that Ashish was giving Christmas party, he was laughing for 5 minutes.

I thought to irritate Sa by calling her at 3 AM in night (Matchbox twenty suggestion - Baby, it's 3 AM and I'm must be lonely). She didn't pick up the phone. alright, I gave her a another call at 4 this time, but still no reply. I thought record my voice to play that to her sometime later. I spoke a lot. Just heard the conversation, only first 20 minutes. Total is almost an hour. Well, I can't really disclose anything of that recording. Waaaaaaaaaaaayo tooooooooooo personal. Mostly full of a some particular words (I don't swear). I need not tell all these to Sa soon explicitly as I have told to her, but I never packed all those things together. I still need to listen 50 minutes of conversation. Don't know what I spoke also my voice sounded totally differently.

Nameless fear

Yesterday while waiting for fellas of Bangalore Motoring Club (BMC), I spoke with Sa and we had a nice discussion about commitment, emotional investment, love and fear. She is totally different kinda person. She can't take risk and I always lived and live on edge. For her dating and love or filmy stuff and one should stay away from it. She laughs away when she sees people in park. Viola! and she found herself on the other side when me met. I had said once "I always do what my heart says" and "She is my parent's choice". These two things make her feel insecure and she doesn't want to be attached and doesn't want to get feeling of it. Well! it is a fault from both side. may be not. It is just different thinking. It can change with time. It can worse or even better. Don't know what future holds. BTW, I need to describe her in one word. Thinking. The phone got cut when I was speaking. SIM has a problem. It would disconnect exactly after 30:01 minutes. I can prove it, but don't want to.

Well, I always do what my heart says but I would be very reasonable than most sane person. But the fear thing was very bad to hear. Either I trust some one unconditionally or don't trust. Things are not really good; at least I don't feel good about the whole thing. I hate people when they don't 101% trust me as I don't waste my time thinning evil. Only evil mind (who know about evil things) don't trust. Some fear.... why?? I'm puzzled.

BTW, may be time to say good bye to BMC has come. Meet got canceled. Guys wasted my 3 hours.